Double Oh Writer

Writing is my great big secret. I don't really tell people that I write. I used to, back in the hey-day of my "I'm so awesome I'll be published in a year" phase, but nowadays, I keep my goal of publication closer to the vest. I guess it was all great telling people that I was writing a book. They perked up with a, "Really? What's it about?" and I'd tell them, and then we'd have a lively conversation. They'd ask about the book from time to time and that was fine too. But once I finished the book, then people wanted to know why I hadn't gotten it published. And when I explained whatever it was I knew at that point about the publishing process (which was notably nothing and sounded like a bunch of half-baked excuses), they'd ask why I didn't just hire an agent to sell the book for me. Really? What a grand idea, I should do just that! 

Looking back, I see that I liked talking about my writing to people because it was a way to get my needy, insecure ego stroked. They were impressed. They thought I could do it! It felt great! But the downside of that is, then they knew about my dream, and they also knew it was still unaccomplished. I felt like I was stuck in a perpetual senior year, constantly being asked, "So when do you graduate again?" and my answer was always, "Maybe this year."

Not that I hide my writing. Not at all. But I'm definitely more selective about who's in-the-know. If I'm waiting for my daughter with my laptop in front of me and someone says, "Hey, whatcha working on?" I don't have to say, "Working on my novel!" with a giant smile and sparkledust in my eyes, silently begging them to ask me more. I can safely answer, "Just writing. I have a family website." This is a misleading answer, even though both parts are true, but that's my cover and I don't plan on blowing it.