I'm on the first-draft of a new novel, and it's exciting times.
As tends to happen to me at this stage, everything about the story feels fantastic. This is the most brilliant idea ever! The creativity surges and I type as fast as my fingers let me. My story is constantly on my mind and I want to discuss the concept with a Thinking Human... actually I want to gush about it to people (this doesn't happen because I don't tell people that I write. See HERE if you want the elaboration on that). I also want to show pages (I will regret this later if I do) and I want to write and write and write.
I will put your minds at ease; this gushing phase will pass. As soon as I get to the end of the book (actually, if I stop the writing process at all and start going over my work), all my insecurities will join forces and stage a counter-attack. The beginning won't be right. This character is completely underdeveloped. That scene is so overdone! What's with all the passive voice? This story isn't ready to be seen. It's a mess! If I foolishly showed anyone pages I will regret it fiercely and hope they haven't gotten to it yet. I have officially gotten over myself and see that the book needs work. Tons of work. I want my story to be the brilliant gem I envisioned, so I get to revising. The honeymoon's over and I cut, promising my story that it's for its own good.
But right now, *deep sigh*, I love my story. I want to take it on long walks by the beach. I want to stay up late into the night, just talking. I want to wake up to blueberry bagels and spend all morning together in our jammies. My story is so dreamy. Right now, just being together is enough. Editing and revising and querying, oh those are future responsibilities... right now we're a couple of crazy kids having a good time, and I can't help but gaze into my story and think, "This time I've found The One!"
Am I the only one with a love-hate relationship when it comes to writing? Or do you love every second of the process? Or suffer for your art? Or have a realistic outlook from page one? How does writing make you feel?